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Mississippi Woman Cuts Off Her Boobs With Hunting Knife

BILOXI, Mississippi —

Frieda Johnson’s mother frantically dialed 911 last night after she discovered her daughter had used a large hunting knife to shear off her breasts.


The medical report, authored by Dr. Jameel Mendoza, stated Johnson was heavily intoxicated with alcohol and the drug flakka, a synthetic amphetamine-like stimulant, and was in a “hysterical rage” as doctor’s treated her wounds.

Allegedly, Johnson was upset her boyfriend would not buy her breast implants, which Johnson felt she needed to make more money as a struggling adult dancer and professional escort. Johnson reasoned that if she cut off her breasts, her boyfriend would have no choice but “to buy her a pair of bigger ones.”

“She was nearly a B cup,” Johnson’s mother said. “Plenty big enough, in my opinion. But the industry she works in demands perfection in order to get that paper. Frieda is the victim here of the need to live up to unrealistic female standards that men demand. I blame men as a whole for this tragedy.”

Unfortunately, for Ms. Johnson, it will be impossible for a plastic surgeon to reconstruct new breasts and get her those coveted implants as Ms. Johnson had ground up her severed breasts in the garbage disposal after she cut them off.

She is expected to make a full recovery.

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